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You encountered a problem and how you solved it

My Grandfather passed away peacefully on 14th January, 2010.

I was devastated. My grandfather was a really great,humble,happy-go-lucky man with a good temper. Four days of funeral was held, one of which happened to be a Monday, so I had to take leave from school. To pay respects for him, we had to engage a monk(my grandfather is a buddhist) to offer prayers so that he would have a good afterlife.

To me, my grandfather meant alot to me. I still remember, almost four years ago, my grandfather was still living healthily. Every Chinese New Year, my family would go over to his house. He would give away red packets to use siblings and also my cousins. He would them sit on the sofa and have a good chat with my parents. I was just too young then, and I couldn't apprecitate that he was still alive. I was not even interested in striking a conversation, because foolish me would not bother. How I regret my actions.

Time passes so quickly, and now my grandfather is not able to talk forever. There is still so much I want to ask him, so much I would want to tell him. But now I can't at all. Nature is just like that. Life is just like that. Once you die, you are completely gone. You then realise, you would not want to live such a wasted life, because you may just go anytime, just like how my grandfather did.

After his death, a problem arised: I was unable to cope with his death. I missed him to dearly, I could not pay attention in class. I did not have the mood to study and even play computer. I did not feel like attending school at all. In class, I would just stare blankly into space, ruminating about his final days, and the then healthy man giving us the smile that could light up an entire city. I was not as talkative in class as I used to be; I did not have the mood to communicate with friends.

Out of all my friends, only one of them actually comforted me after knowing the ordeal I was going through. That friend is really a friend indeed. Yet however, that did not really cheer me up. The impact of my grandfather's passing was just too great, I was almost beyond help.

On certain occasion, I would just tear in my bed after thinking about him. Right now as I am writing this post, I am really on the verge of tearing. This post really forces me to remind me about him, and I am unsure whether it is good or bad. I was distracted during my daily homework and schoolwork. I was just at a total loss.

After many days, I was just too sad I approached my mother for help.

She told me," Just think that he died a very peaceful death. It ended all his suffering. And to think about it, he died at a ripe old age,"

It was completely true. My grandfather, on the day of his passing, passed away with what seemed like a faint smile on his face. And a year before his passing, he suffered a stroke which rendered him unable to talk. He was also suffering from a certain disease which was causing him great pain both physically and mentally. Everyone would say that his death would have been a relief to all his pain, but that is not a relief to me. I really wanted to hear him talk and see his smile again.

However, after hearing what my mother said, I didn't feel so bad. Likewise, in school where I was still thinking about his death, just remebering what my mother said didn't make me feel so bad any more. I could cope with my studies and social life better after that. Life was much easier for me, though I still think about my grandfather every day.

I should end my post here. I almost teared throughout the post. After seeing my grandfather pass away, I decided I would not want him to die in vain. I would not want him to feel sad in heaven. Also,I wouldn't want to die without achieving anything. I wouldn't want a wasted death. So now I want to work hard. Work hard so that I can give my parents a good life before it is their turn to go.


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posted by Ryan :D @ 9:03 PM